The female writer was not diagnosed with ADHD until she was 60 years old. Instead, she breathed a sigh of relief: I am not a failure.

Brady Mikako, a writer who lives in the UK and has long discussed issues of women’s lives with essays and novels, shares the true story of a 60-year-old woman in his new book "SISTER “FOOT” EMPATHY". She was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) in the second half of her life, and this diagnosis became the strength for her to "start over."

"It turns out I'm not a bad person, just different."

This woman has felt that she is "different from others" since she was a child - she always forgets things, cannot concentrate, and is often blamed for being "not serious" and "unreliable." Even though she strives to integrate into society when she grows up, she still often falls into self-denial and anxiety.

It wasn’t until she was 60 years old that she read a report about ADHD at the suggestion of her friend, and she was shocked to realize that it was the epitome of her own life. After evaluation by a physician, she was diagnosed with ADHD. At that moment I breathed a sigh of relief. She said: "It turns out that I am not a failure, it's just that my brain works differently from most people."

The doctor explained to her "Neurodiversity", which means that everyone's neural structure and way of thinking are different, and should not be divided into "normal" and "abnormal". She finally understood that she was a "neuro-minority" rather than a "problem person."

Starting afresh at age 60: Diagnosis becomes an opportunity for self-affirmation

In the past, she was often troubled by her forgetfulness and impulsiveness, and even fell into depression for a time. But after understanding the characteristics of ADHD, she began to learn to accept herself and find a suitable method and rhythm of life. "I no longer blame myself." She said with a smile, "The diagnosis of ADHD was my greatest empowerment. Because it let me know that I have always worked hard, just in different ways."

She also began to use swimming to relieve stress - "water can quiet the noise in her head." This was an important moment for her to talk to herself again and find peace.

Only by starting with self-understanding can we truly have empathy

Brady Mikako mentioned in the book that this woman’s story is not only about “diagnosis”, but also about “self-understanding” and “empathy.” Many people will experience confusion, doubt and self-blame at different stages of life, but when we can extend a hand of understanding to our past selves, it is also a kind of "self-empathy" - just like she said to herself: "You really worked hard, thank you."

Doctors remind: In the face of troubles, understanding is more important than denial

Clinical psychologists point out that many adults are not diagnosed with ADHD or other neurodevelopmental differences until middle age or even old age. These people are often misunderstood for a long time in the workplace and interpersonal relationships, leading to anxiety or depression. But once you understand your own characteristics and find ways to adapt, you can not only reduce psychological stress, but also improve your quality of life.

Doctors remind you that if you often suffer from inattention, confused sense of time, or memory problems, you may wish to consult a professional and understand the brain's operating mode through psychological evaluation. "Understanding your differences does not mean being labeled, but finding a way to live your life that is more suitable for you."